


More Than Friends

by Enchantedcaptain



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Once Upon a Time Fusion, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Emma Swan Friendship, Captain Hook | Killian Jones In Love, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Angst, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Fluff, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Smut, Captain Swan AU Month, Captain Swan AU Week, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Once Upon a Time (TV), Just Friends, Male-Female Friendship, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Pining Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Pining Emma Swan, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Tension, Slow Build Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-09-05 00:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16800370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantedcaptain/pseuds/Enchantedcaptain
Summary: Killian Jones is in love with his best friend Emma Swan. Little does he know she feels the same way. Mutual pining with best friends to lovers.





	1. Chapter 1

Killian Jones is a simple man. He doesn't need much in his life, a little rum, a little leather and a little Emma and he's set for the rest of his life. 

Working on the docks and living close by has made it difficult for socialisation. Not that he minds. He would probably describe himself as an introvert, but he certainly knows how to charm all who cross his path. But it doesn't really matter to him, being charming, unless it's Emma he's trying to charm. 

Emma. Where does he start? She's everything all in one. Witty, intelligent, beautiful, and she just understands him. He understands her too. So much. If soul mates exist he'd be blind to admit it's anyone but her. He couldn't live without her, and he knows she couldn't live without him either. 

That brings him back to where he is now. Laying under his heavy duvet in the middle of the afternoon, one Emma Swan fast asleep in his arms. Her long blonde locks are scattered all over the pillow, and he buries his head into them. She's a vision in the late afternoon sun, creating a halo on the pale skin of her face. 

They do this often. Cuddle in his bed when the outside world gets too much. Which is often. It's completely innocent, just two friends captivated with one another, forgetting everyone else exists. It's what friends do, right?

He knows better. But he can't bring himself to stop it. He wouldn't survive without his fix of Emma, so he'll take what he can get. She's so different with him, so soft. By day, she's out hunting down criminals, kicking ass and showing no mercy. But with him, she's putty in his hands. She lets him look after her, she likes it too. 

He doesn't let himself think about it too much. He doesn't want to know why she relies on him, why she trusts him. Not that he'd ever do anything to betray her. He's wrapped around her little finger and she knows it. She knows he'd do anything for her. 

She stirs a little in her sleep, before one eyelid opens and green meets ocean blue. She smiles. It's a beautiful sight. 

"How long have you been awake?"  
She asks as she burrows further into his chest, their legs tangling. It's only their thin pyjamas separating them, her shorts barely passing as shorts, and he has to focus to stop the blood from rushing down to where he can't have it rush. 

He breathes her in. She still smells like cinnamon from when he made her a hot chocolate a mere hour before, and a little bit of something floral. Maybe she got a new perfume, he'll have to ask her about it later.

Her voice comes out husky, having just woken up from her afternoon nap. As he replies "not long, love" he realises his is just as husky, if not more. She looks up at him with that, and kisses his cheek. 

"I hate everyone but you" he laughs at that, this not unlike Emma to say. "Aye, love, ditto." She sits up, stretching her arms up, her back arching. He can't help but lay there, watching, mesmerised by everything she does. He yawns and she looks back at him, cracking another breathtaking smile.

"Have you been having trouble sleeping again?" She looks at him so concerned and it takes everything in him to not kiss her senseless. He doesn't respond because he knows she already knows the answer. She lays back down to hug him, and moves her mouth to his ear.

"I'll stay for a couple days." And that's all he needs to hear. It's all he needs. She's all he needs. He hugs her close and they stay like that until her belly rumbles and he let's out another loud laugh. He feels her grin into his chest and he can't help the flutter in his heart. 

"Right, love, tea time. What will it be today? Pop tarts? Pizza? Or some other form of sugar and grease that will surely cause a heart attack?" She kicks him in the shin and gets out of bed at that, causing him to follow her.

"I'll have you know that I've had two salads this week." 

"Love. Are you feeling alright? Do you need me to call Mary Margaret? Have her nurse you back to your proper self?"

"Shut up."

"So articulate, love."

She glares at him but still let's him wrap his arms around her waist. He can see her fighting back a smile and it warms his heart to know that he has that effect on her. They've reached the kitchen now, and he begins pulling eggs and bacon out of the fridge as she chucks some bread in the toaster. 

They slip into a routine after that. Emma preparing the toast and orange juice as he cooks the rest. They eat in comfortable silence, with a few jokes cracked here and there. When they're finished, they crawl back into bed, resuming their earlier position.

Emma's phone rings and she leans over him to peer at the screen before rolling her eyes and passing him the phone. He looks at the screen to see Walsh calling and mirrors her eye roll.

Walsh. The guy Emma works with who is madly in love with her. Not that she notices. She never gives him the time of day. The guy asks her out almost weekly and Emma always rejects him, often getting Killian to handle it for her when they're together. 

He slides to answer the call. "Mate, Emma's not available. Stop calling her." He hangs up before Walsh can get a word in. He almost feels sorry for the guy. If Emma didn't give him the time of day he wouldn't know what he would do. 

Placing the phone on the bedside table, he sighs before wrapping his arms back around Emma. She giggles and it's such a rare sound. Well, rare to everyone but Killian. It always makes him smile goofily, which makes her giggle more. He goes to tickle her then, not wanting the giggles to end.

They end up a mess of tangled limbs, and he pulls the covers back over them, Emma burrowing deep into his side. She gazes up at him from beneath her lashes, and her green eyes zone in on him, her earlier concern returning.

"Can I do anything to help you sleep?"

"Just you being here is enough, love."

She doesn't respond, but she doesn't have to. Her actions have always spoken louder than her words. Instead, she smiles and nuzzles her nose with his before resting her head back on his chest. She falls into a peaceful sleep shortly after.

He follows her not long after, not lying when he said she's all he needs to fall asleep. She knows why he can't sleep. Knows that it's nearing the anniversary of Liam's death. Knows that he just needs her here. 

But she doesn't know that he's in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my first story! If you liked it, please let me know and I'll add more chapters XD 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to once upon a time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to anyone that commented, left kudos or even just read my story!!! It means so so much to me.
> 
> I hope this next chapter doesn't let you down!  
> This one is solely Emma's POV.

Emma's POV

Each month, Mary Margaret insists that Emma and Killian join her and David for dinner, just to catch up on their lives she says. Although Emma isn't blind and knows it's so she can check up on them, but she doesn't mind, Mary Margaret means well.

She's glad Killian gets ropped into it as well, since third wheeling the two lovebirds isn't something she likes to do often. The night usually ends with a rom com left on the tv, one that Emma and Killian spend the whole night making fun of, with MM and David fast asleep, curled up on their couch. 

Tonight is no exception to that, and as Emma looks over at the couple, she can't help the pull in her chest. It's moments like these that she realises maybe she does want a love like that. Maybe the world would be so much easier with someone who loves you unconditionally. Maybe the reward would be greater than the risk.

But then Killian wraps his arm around her shoulders and it doesn't seem to matter anymore. 

"Wanna head off, love?"

She lifts her head to catch his eye and with the way he's looking at her, she thinks maybe she could have that kind of love, maybe she already does. But she's too scared to lose him. Having him as her best friend is so much better than not having him in her life at all. 

It's nights like these that she struggles to hide her feelings for him the most. With his hair a mess from laying on the couch and his sleepy eyes shining that beautiful blue, she can't deny that he's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. She realises she still hasn't answered him when he whispers "Emma?" and she blushes under his gaze. 

"Yeah sorry, let's go" 

It's at that moment that she realises just how tired she is, and she let's a yawn overtake her. He notices, he always does, and he lets the cutest little smile overtake his own face. He guides her to the door with his hand on her lower back and helps her into her coat before putting on his own. 

It's a quiet walk to his car, but peaceful. His hand is still on her lower back and she prays that he doesn't move it. The night is especially cold and she shivers under her heavy coat. He notices of course and pulls her closer, kissing her hair in the process.

"Almost there, love. Don't freeze on me now." 

His voice is low and does something to her insides. She's glad she's facing away from him, so she can attempt to hide the blush that creeps up her neck. They reach the car and he opens her door for her. She turns around and he engulfs her in a bear hug, rubbing her back to try and warm her up. He helps her into his passenger seat and closes her door for her. When he settles into his own seat, he cranks up the heater and turns on the seat warmers. 

She watches him in silence, so overwhelmed with how much he obviously cares for her. It never ceases to amaze her. What did she do to deserve him? Of course, if she was ever to ask him that, he'd be quick to say that it's him that doesn't deserve her. 

They arrive at Killian's house and are quick to make their way out of the cold wind. When they've gotten inside Killian takes off her coat and hangs it up, before doing the same for his own. As he does so, she sits in front of the fireplace and warms herself up. He walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. It makes her smile, which makes him smile in return.

"Cat got your tongue, love?"

"Something like that."

He frowns at that and turns her around to face him. 

"Is everything okay?"

"It is now."

"Why don't we hop into bed and you can tell me what's bothering you, hmm?"

She gives a sleepy nod in reply and he leads her to his bed. She follows behind him, definitely NOT checking out his ass. Oh, who is she kidding, even he knows she's well and truly attracted to him. And she'd have to be blind to not see the effect she has on him too. 

Truth is, she doesn't know what's bothering her. Or at least, she doesn't know how to put it into words for him. What does she say? She's helplessly in love with her best friend, and the more time they spend like this, acting like a couple, the worse it gets. Maybe that's it, maybe she should spend less time with him, maybe that would help her get over him. 

Maybe she should push him away to get over him before she does something she'll regret. But for now, for tonight, she's more than content to pretend that they're just two friends innocently cuddling in the caccoon of covers Emma's sure is ten times more comfortable than her own bed. She's happy to be in his arms and have him all to herself, for now. 

She's definitely not going to think about the fact that she sleeps in his bed more often than she sleeps in her own.

Her thoughts are interrupted by Killian leaning over the top of her, with his elbows resting either side of her head. He's close, too close, and she can see that adorable little dimple in his chin and it takes everything in her to not kiss it.

He's staring at her with so much concern in his eyes. 

"Now love, are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or do I have to tickle it out of you?"

She'll never get used to that pet name. Love. She's made it clear in the past that she hates pet names, but she can't bring herself to be mad at him. In fact, she actually likes, well loves it. She's well aware of the fact that if anyone else called her that she would probably retort with a death glare and "I'm not your love." But with Killian, she thinks, maybe she is his love? 

It's not just her though. She's noticed, definitely noticed, that he doesn't call anyone else that. No, all the other girls are 'lass'. It does something to her heart to know that. To know that she means more to him than anyone else does. 

"Emma? You're very short on the replies tonight." 

She sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired." 

And then he goes and throws her off guard in these tender moments by calling her by her first name. The way he says it sounds so much better than when anyone else does. Maybe it's his accent. Or maybe it's just him. 

"You know you're not fooling me, but I'll let it slide for tonight. Get some sleep, love."

"Night Killian."

She kisses his check and he returns it, letting her melt into his embrace. It's not five minutes later that she hears his breathing even out and she sighs. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, so much younger. She's relieved to know that he's not having too much trouble sleeping as of late, although that may be because they've spent every night together for the past few weeks. 

They both haven't had the best track record for maintaining a healthy sleep schedule, both having odd spurts of insomnia throughout the year. But they always seem to sleep so much better together. He knows she just needs him to hold her when she gets like this. Knows that she won't tell him until she's ready.

But he doesn't know that she's in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you're still reading! Hehehe
> 
> Once again, if you want me to continue, please let me know! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back again!
> 
> This one is a bit (alot) angsty so I apologise in advance!!! 
> 
> This is Emma's POV again but don't worry we'll hear Killian's thoughts soon! :))

5 missed calls. 1 voicemail. And 7 texts.   
  
All from Killian.  
  
Oh god.  
  
This ignoring him thing wasn't going well and it'd been less than 24 hours.  
  
She hadn't read his texts. And god was she not game enough to listen to his voicemail. To hear his voice. He must be so confused, and hurt. What was she doing?   
  
She'd left his house that morning in a rush to get to work, hoping to get one last skip in before she relaxed for the holidays. But with Killian being Killian, he'd been awake before her, despite the early hour. He'd wanted her to stay. But she couldn't.  
  
She knew that he knew something was wrong. But he let her go no questions asked, albeit a little concerned. Throughout the day she's sure he went from a little concerned to full blown worried. She wanted to just tell him the truth, but she couldn't risk ruining their friendship.   
  
Ironic though, right? She was ruining their friendship anyway.   
  
She'd channelled all of her frustration into work and had caught the guy in under 3 hours, nearly a new record. But that left the rest of the day for her to wallow in self pity. Great.  
  
By the time it was dark outside she'd successfully cried herself dry and eaten a whole tub of ice cream. In the midst of ignoring Killian, she must have accidentally been ignoring Rubys calls as well, because here she was on her doorstep with Chinese takeout and a worried look on her face.   
  
"What the hell is going on, Emma?!"  
  
Ruby looked lowkey mad and Emma could only shrug sheepishly and open her door wider to let her in.   
  
After flopping down on Emma's couch and making herself at home, Ruby turned her scrutinusing gaze back to Emma.  
  
"So are you gonna tell me why I've called 3 separate times today and gotten no answer. Not to mention my texts? You do remember we had a girls night tonight??"  
  
"Oh shit, Rubs! I completely forgot. I wasn't ignoring you I swear."  
  
"Well then what the hell were you doing?"  
  
She paused. Not knowing whether she wanted to tell Ruby yet. Deciding there was no way out of it, she confessed.  
  
"I was ignoring Killian."  
  
That captures Ruby's attention if the way she whips her head around is any indication.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Do you wanna talk about it?"  
  
She sighed. "Maybe later. Can we just talk about you for a bit."  
  
So Ruby told her about her newest conquest on her night out and said that she'd actually kept in contact with the girl, Belle, and they were going on a date tomorrow night.   
  
"Wow, Rubs. I'm proud of you."  
  
"Ha! Yeah. Who knew right?"  
  
As they ate their dinner and put on a cheesy rom com, at Ruby's request and Emma's disgust, she couldn't help but be a little put out by what Ruby said. Ruby. The bachelor, well bachelorette, was actually going on a date, and seemed to be rather smitten. Was she the only one left that was sad and alone?   
  
With another sigh, Emma trudged into the kitchen in search of something to take off the edge. Getting drunk with Ruby was better than getting drunk alone, right? She zoned in on a full bottle of vodka and yanked it out of the cupboard along with some shot glasses. Perfect.  
  
Maybe a little liquid courage would help her listen to that freaking voicemail. Maybe.   
  
As she brought her find into the lounge, she watched Ruby raise a dark eyebrow at her, mirroring a move Killian would make and god, why can't she get him out of her head.   
  
Purposely ignoring Ruby's obvious nonverbal question, she set the glasses on the table and poured them both a generous amount.   
  
"Bottoms up."  
  
The burn on her throat felt so good that she quickly poured herself another and chucked it down, all before Ruby had lifted the glass to her lips. She felt Ruby's eyes on her but kept hers shut, not ready to answer the obvious questions Ruby had.   
  
She kept them closed until she was sure Ruby had downed her own shot, but continued to avoid her gaze as she settled back into the couch. Luckily, or unluckily, Ruby knew Emma a little too well, so she let Emma be for the time being.   
  
She knew it wouldn't last long though, because as understanding as Ruby was, her impatience usually bested her. After two more shots Emma was starting to relax, but that quickly dissipated when Ruby decided it was the perfect time to ask.  
  
"Sooo what happened with Killian?"  
  
And there it was. As much as she knew the question was coming, she was still extremely unprepared to answer it.   
  
"Wow straight into it then Ruby."  
  
"Hey I've successfully gone a full hour without asking Em."  
  
"Yeah yeah okay. I'll tell you."  
  
"Spill."  
  
She sighed.  
  
"I kind of don't want to be around him right now. I just... he is... well I-"  
  
"-finally realised you're in love with him?"  
  
She gulped, not expecting Ruby to hit the nail on the head like that. She knew her lack of reply was enough for Ruby to realise it was true, and her eyes widened.  
  
"Wait. You did. Oh my god Emma this is wonderful! You guys are gonna make the cutest children! Oh my god, and the sex, man Emma that guy is a sex god. If I was straight I would be alllll over him."  
  
"Ruby stop. It's never gonna happen. He doesn't feel the same."  
  
"Oh bullshit! Come on Emma you've got to be stupid to not realise that that man is helplessly and completely in love with you."  
  
And then she cried. Emma Swan actually cried in front of another human being. She didn't even have time to process it before she was wrapped up in Ruby's arms.  
  
"Hey hey. Em. It's okay."  
  
She felt Ruby rub her back and she couldn't stop the tears from falling even harder.   
  
"Shhh. It's okay. Cry it out."  
  
And then she heard her phone ring for the billionth time that day and sighed, defeated, as the tears started to die down.   
  
"It's Killian."  
  
"I know." 

Ruby grabbed her phone.  
  
"Wow Em you've really been ignoring him. I think the man has surely overdone the concerned best friend thing. This is definitely the work of a guy in love."   
  
"Stop."  
  
"You should at least look at the texts. Oh, a voicemail too."  
  
Emma sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. She sat up and wiped her eyes, taking her phone from Ruby, knowing she wouldn't take no for an answer.   
  
_K: Love, I know something's up. I just want you to know I'm here for you. Always._  
  
_K: move night tonight? I'll even let you pick ;)_  
  
_K: Emma?_  
  
_K: love, have I done something to upset you?_  
  
_K: is everything okay??_  
  
_K: Emma please_  
  
_K: Emma?_  
  
Oh god. What had she done?  
  
"Oh Em. You've got to put the poor guy out of his misery."  
  
"I know. _God_ Ruby what have I done?"   
  
"Just tell him you're okay. That's all he wants. That man will forgive you for anything and everything and you know it."  
  
"That's the problem. I want him to hate me. Why won't he hate me?"  
  
"You know why."  
  
Another sigh.  
  
She began to type back a response.  
  
_E: I'm fine. Just need some space._  
  
His reply was almost instant and made her heart flutter.  
  
_K: As you wish._  
  
She was in too deep.   
  
She hadn't even listened to his voicemail yet.  
  
Deciding it was better to rip the bandaid off in one go, she activated her voicemail and anxiously waited to hear his voice.   
  
Beep.  
  
_Emma... I don't know what I've done but I'm so bloody sorry. Please just tell me you're okay. I can live with you mad at me but I can't live without knowing you're okay... I'm sorry, love._  
  
Click.  
  
And then she was (drunk) crying again and all Ruby could do was soothe her and hope the whirlwind that was Emma's emotions would die down soon.   
  
What had she _done_?  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooweee I'm so sorry this took me so long to update - life got a bit hectic - especially after that angsty chapter.  
> I'm afraid this one isn't any less angsty but I am already working on the next chapter so don't worry!! 
> 
> Please enjoy XD  
> Also thank you to anyone still reading this xx  
> This is Killian's POV btw

He damn well knew something was wrong with Emma. Maybe he should've pushed her. Made her tell him what was wrong. But then again, you can't _make_ Emma Swan do anything she doesn't want to do.

What in the bloody hell did he do?

He can't remember the last time Emma freaked out on him like this. Sure, she freaks out on absolutely everyone else. But never him. He's always the one that she goes to. That she depends on. And now she won't even talk to him.

He's worked so hard to build her trust. To get to where they are. Were. They had a good system, just him and Emma against the world. If something went wrong they could always count on each other. And they did. He counted on her for everything.

So without her here, he turns to the closet thing he has to a coping mechanism. Rum.

And so he drinks himself into a state where his self-deprecation doesn't sting so hard anymore.

And he does it every night.

That is, until David stops by a month later.

He's knee deep in his third? glass of the night when he hears the tell tale sounds of David's pick up truck rolling down his driveway.

Killian's not daft. And for that matter, neither is David. He knows why David's gone to the effort to drive out here. Killian and Emma always show up to Mary Margaret's monthly dinner. Always together, too. He knows that his earlier text conversation with Mary Margaret can't have been very convincing.

_M: Killian! Still on for monthly dinner? I haven't heard from you in a while! Is everything alright??_

_K: Aye M I'm fine. I'm afraid I can't make dinner tonight though, something's come up._

_M: oh, weird, Emma said the same thing. Well, have fun doing whatever it is you're doing!_

_K: thanks lass, I'll try_

He wishes she hadn't mentioned Emma. Just hearing her name sparks that familiar pinch in his chest, one that only seems to worsen the longer he goes without her.

But, it's not just that. Knowing that Emma had cancelled as well, before he had even thought about their dinner plans, was like a knife to the gut. How long was this going to go on for? Did she plan to ignore him for the rest of her life?

I mean, he's certainly made it easy for her. She has no way of running into him unless she was to physically drive to the docks. And she won't do that. So he sits, alone, drowning in his sorrows.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

He's somewhat thankful for the disruption to his train of thought. But not thankful enough to give David the satification of getting to see Killian in such a state. He knows he must look like a right mess, if the fact that he'd drunk himself to sleep for most of the month is anything to go by.

"Mate! I know you're in there. Open up, buddy."

Killian sighs, knowing David isn't one to budge.

"Yeah yeah, coming Dave." He calls back in resignation, not wanting David to think he was ignoring him and have him find his own way in, a personality trait that is eerily similar to Emma's considering they aren't even technically related. Bloody hell, everything reminds him of her.

Plopping his glass back on the coffee table and sauntering over to the door, he unlocks it after a second of hesitation, only to be met with the very concerned eyes of David Nolan.

"Wow, Dave, how long's it been since your last shave? Don't tell me MM likes the homeless look?"

"You're one to talk, mate. It's hard to see your mouth under all that hair. I'd wager that brought a smile to your face, but I'm afraid I can't tell."

That does indeed bring a smile to Killian's face, and by the small smile David mirrors, he can tell that was his goal. David walks past Killian into the house and, to his credit, he doesn't linger on or mention the empty bottles of rum lying around.

"Ouch Dave, you're starting to sound a bit too much like myself. That comeback was a little too articulate."

Killian follows him into the lounge, and sits down on the seat next to him.

"Hey, I'll have you know, this top notch bloke right here finished two years of community college. And, please remind me, what have you done?"

"Ahhh you see college is just wasted on a lad such as myself. There's nothing left for them to teach me."

David chuckles but doesn't reply, seemingly satisfied in his ability to lighten the mood. To lighten Killian's mood. He pours himself his own glass of rum, but doesn't make to pour Killian one, obviously sensing that he's had a few this evening already.

"So, what plans did you have tonight that were so important you missed dinner?"

"Ah, straight to it then. And here I thought my best mate Dave came over just because he missed looking at my devilishly handsome face."

David sighs.

"Killian. What's going on?"

"What ever do you mean?"

"Stop deflecting. You and I both know it's no coincidence that you and Emma both skipped on dinner tonight and that you aren't together right now."

"Why don't you ask Emma? I've nothing to do with it."

"Mary Margaret is asking her right now."

"Right, well, maybe you should've gone with her."

"Killian."

Killian sighs and rubs his hands over his eyes.

"Look, Dave, I haven't the faintest clue why Emma has been ignoring me for the better part of a month. Believe me, if I knew, I'd tell you."

"So she just stopped talking? That sounds a bit odd."

"Yep."

"For a whole month? Mate, if I had've known, I would've checked up on you sooner."

"I'm not a child, Dave."

"No, but you can be downright dramatic when you start the self-deprecation and I will not have you drink yourself into oblivion. Have you had dinner? Mary Margaret packed up some lasagna for you, I'll go and get it now."

And with that David patted Killian's knee and made his way back to the truck.

Killian let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Whilst Dave could be a bloody pain in the arse, he knew he meant well, and he was grateful for the constant in his life.

David returned as quick as he left and Killian listened as a few mumbles and the distinct sound of alfoil unwrapping travelled from the kitchen. Then, he heard the microwave begin and waited for David to return to his seat.

"Alright mate, I'm heating up enough for two. What's say we chuck on a movie and make this a simple move night, hey?"

"Oh, Dave, it's everything my bromance dreams are made of."

Dave rolled his eyes and made his way back to the lounge with two plates of lasagna in his hands.

"See, I told you, dramatic."

And so they sat in comfortable silence, eating, drinking (only two for sherriff David since he had to drive home) and watching the latest film of the Fast and Furious franchise.

And later that night once Dave had left to go home to his wife, Killian lay in bed, freshly shaven and showered, wondering what he did to deserve a mate like Dave. But with thoughts of Dave, came thoughts of Emma, like with everything else, and he found himself wondering what he did to deserve Emma. And what he did to lose her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back! And so soon!  
> Things will only get better after this chapter I SWEAR :))

_Knock. Knock. Knock_.

Emma sighed, knowing exactly who was behind her door. Honestly, she should've made an effort to make herself look presentable the moment she cancelled on their monthly dinner, with the chances of Mary Margaret showing up at her door with many, many questions a good 90 out of 100.

But here she was, cheeks puffy, eye bags present, hair unwashed and disgracefully knotty, sweat pants on, and Gilmore girls reruns playing on her tv - not that she was paying any attention. It seems that even after a whole month of ignoring him, she was still an absolute hot mess. Minus the hot part. She was just a mess.

I mean, she did do this to herself. That fact, and the fact that she knows Killian won't be handling it well either, only make her more miserable. She was a coward. An asshole. God, she really doesn't deserve him. He's definitely going to be better off without her in the long run.

"Emma!"

Oh, right, she momentarily forgot about her guest. Her guest with many, many questions. _Ugh_.

"Coming!"

There was no point hiding from Mary Margaret, god knows she'd never hear the end of it.

"Before the new year would be nice."

It really surprises Emma how sweet, innocent Mary Margaret can be a bit of a smartass sometimes. Although, considering what Emma puts her through, she's lucky that's all she gets in return.

"Ha. Ha." She yells back, sarcastically. _Very_ sarcastically. Attempting to fix up her mess of a hair, and her mess of a face for that matter, she stops in front of her mirror next to her front door. Deciding the point was moot, she flings open her door and is taken aback when MM pulls her in for a back-breaking hug.

"Oh, Emma. You look horrible."

"Gee, thanks."

"Oh, stop that. You know what I mean."

She does. But that's never stopped Emma from avoiding the point before.

"You know, I invite you into my house, and you repay me by insulting my appearance. I'll have you know-"

"-Emma." She's smirking now. Remind Emma to put Mary Margaret smirking into the list of things she doesn't want to see ever again. That, and Killian.

Okay, that was harsh. God, she's such an asshole in her head. And out. She's just an asshole. And did she mention she was a coward, too?

Truth is, she desperately wants to see Killian. She wants to tell him the truth. Tell him she's sorry. But, she just can't. She needs to get over him. She needs to do it now.

"Emma." She repeats. Emma looks up into Mary Maraget's eyes, not ready to see that level of concern. And, as a surprising characteristic move of Emma's lately, she cries.

"Oh, hunny." And then she's pulled into another hug. But she doesn't mind this time. She hugs her back. Tightly. MM guides them past the doorway and closes the door. Somewhere in the back of Emma's hazey mind she's eternally grateful for that - nosey neighbour's and all.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's okay, hunny." And then she's hiccuping. Ugly hiccuping. She vaguely recalls MM running into the kitchen to get her some water before the glass is being shoved into her hand and she's drinking. She wishes it was something stronger. Alcohol. She needs alcohol.

She stands up on shaky legs, walking towards her alcohol cabinet, pointedly going the opposite way around the couch to where MM is sitting. She knows she's being watched like a hawk.

Oh, great. She's out of alcohol. _Ugh_.

A little ashamed, she waltzes back into the lounge and falls down (really unladylike she'll admit) next to MM - who is being unusually quiet. Looking up at the subject of her train of thought, she's not surprised to see the confusion and concern in her friend's (or mother's, really - that thought makes her roll her eyes) eyes.

"Alright. I'm going to make us hot chocolate. You're going to tell me everything. And then you're going to shower and go to bed. Alright?"

"Cinnamon."

MM rolls her eyes.

"Yes, Emma. Hot chocolate with cinnamon."

It doesn't evade Emma that Mary Margaret is using her teacher voice. But she can't bring herself to care. And then MM is up and in the kitchen making hot chocolate, true to her word, and Emma is left to her own thoughts again, unfortunately.

She may not say it out loud, but she's beyond grateful for the distraction tonight. Even though this distraction comes in the form of her very nosey friend with many, many questions about the someone she is trying to not think about. But she'll cross that bridge when she has to.

Annddd it looks like she'll be crossing that bridge very soon since MM is making a beeline for Emma with two steaming cups of hot chocolate and what looks like a very determined expression and Emma just knows there's no way she's getting out of this one.

"One hot chocolate, with cinnamon, for you ma'am."

"Thanks." She says dejectedly, not in the mood to attempt some sort of fake, dorky, cheerful response. That doesn't deter MM though.

"You know, you should try some eye cream for your under eyes. I find it really helpful when I haven't been getting enough sleep-"

"-I had a fight with Killian." She decides stopping Mary Margaret before she goes off on a tangent is the easiest course of action, wanting to get this conversation over and done with. 

"Oh."

"Well, no, that's not exactly true. I decided to stop speaking to Killian about a month ago and as you can probably guess that's still happening and yeah... that's it. Hit me."

"What?" She almost laughs at the innocent, bewildered expression on MM's face.

"Hit me. You know, hit me with your many, many questions."

"Oh... um, why?"

"Because I'm in love with him and this is the only way for me to get over it."

"Oh." She doesn't miss the hint of a smile coming through in Mary Margaret's voice, but she's not going to look at her yet. "Did you ever think that maybe he feels the same way?"

"He doesn't."

"Emma." She sighs. "I may not know much-" Emma snorts at that. "-but I do know what a man in love looks like. And Killian, my dear, is a man very much in love. With you."

"Then why hasn't he tried to contact me? Why doesn't he care?"

"He hasn't tried to contact you?"

"Well, okay. Maybe he has. But... he hasn't... recently."

"Maybe he's trying to give you space."

"Or maybe he doesn't care."

"Do you know that David and I haven't heard from Killian for about a month. He cancelled on dinner tonight, too, you know."

Emma looks up at her. "Oh."

"He wouldn't tell me why, either. Said 'something's come up' whatever that means. That's how I knew something was very wrong. If he didn't care, then why wouldn't he come to dinner?"

"Maybe he wasn't hungry."

Mary Margaret sighs. "Look, Emma. I know you've been hurt in the past. I know you don't trust people easily. But I do know that you trust Killian. And that he trusts you. And that you two rely on each other, that you two just _fit_. Don't you think that's worth fighting for? Don't you think that you two could have something great? You could be happy? Don't you think that the reward is greater than the risk? That he's worth it?"

"Of course he's worth it."

"Right. Well then get off your ass. Clean yourself up. And first thing tomorrow you go and make this right. Because I will not be choosing sides in this. You two are going to live happily ever after or you're going to get over yourselves and go back to being friends. Because you need each other. And I need both of you. Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"Good... and Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right?"

She sighs. "I know, I love you too."

"I'm sorry I have to be so... firm. But I'm only doing this because I care about you, okay?"

"Okay. I know. I'm sorry."

"Come here." And then she's being pulled in for an even tighter hug than when MM arrived, if that's even possible. "I'll come and check on you tomorrow, okay?"

She nods in reply, not trusting her own voice right now. Mary Margaret seems content with that and makes to leave.

"Oh and one last thing. I'm serious about that eye cream. Maybe I could lend you mine-"

"Bye, Mary Margaret."

MM sighs and chuckles at the same time and Emma would be amused at the sound under any other circumstances. "Bye, Emma."

As the door shuts behind her, Emma let's out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She feels strangely content, considering. She guesses Mary Margaret is more convincing then she first thought because, for the first time in a while, Emma has hope. Hope that things will work out. But first, she's got to fix the mess she's made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeek!!   
> Also, I'm sorry for saying MM so much. Mary Margaret is such a long name to write and I'm so lazy :D 
> 
> Thank you for reading! The next part shall be out soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO  
> so, I wasn't expecting to finish this chapter like straight after the other chapter but I just COULDN'T STOP so here we are.
> 
> Please be warned that this chapter is smut, but also not really cause I'm not 100% comfortable writing that :)))))
> 
> Enjoy ;)

The next morning Emma wakes up determined, showering and getting dressed in record time. She won't confirm nor deny that she'd put a little extra effort into her appearance just to make it easier for Killian to fall in love with her. Silly, right?

Considering he's seen her at her worst. And then times that by ten. Yeah, she's being ridiculous. But, hey, she needs the confidence boost. She decided there was no point in being anxious for the rest of the morning and just got in her car and drove.

The next thing she knew, she was at his door and knocking. She knew he'd be awake, early riser and all, unlike herself. Her suspicions were proved right when the man himself opened the door.

She'd spent the whole drive over contemplating what to say. She'd thought of every possible scenario. There was the dreaded:

_Killian, I'm in love with you._

_I'm sorry, Emma, I don't feel the same._

_Oh, okay, cool. We're still friends right?_

_Of course, lass._

Or, and this particular scenario was her favourite:

_Killian, I'm in love with you._

_Oh, Emma, I've been in love with you since the moment I met you._

_Well, kiss me then, you idiot._

In this particular scene they make love on his kitchen bench and _god_ , she needs to reel this back to PG before she ends up a spluttering idiot on his doorstep.

"...Emma."

He looks good. Really good. And with the way he says her name (all breathless and deep) paired with the way he looks at her, it's all too much. Everything she thought she'd say is completely lost on her and she just stands there and stares.

So she does all she can think of and just kisses him. Slowly at first, until he catches up, and then they're a mess of limbs and tongues and arms and _wow_. Had she known he kissed like this, she would have done it a long time ago.

She thinks he closes his front door behind her but she's a little too preoccupied to really notice. That is, until she's being pushed up against the door and she thinks _yeah, definitely closed_. He lifts her legs up around his waist and their bodies are pushed impossibly closer and she really needs to break for air but then again if she dies like this, she's more than okay with that.

His erection is rubbing against her and she moans deep and long and he lets out his own whine in reply before bucking his hips into hers. She breaks the kiss with a gasp and is grateful for the chance to breathe before he pulls her lips back in for more. They've started a rocking rhythm now and she's so wrecked.

_God_ , if this is what he does to her fully clothed, she can't imagine what he could do to her without clothes. Actually, speaking of, she starts unbuttoning his flannel shirt and runs her hands through his chest hair. The sound he makes can only really be described as a _purr_ and she repeats her action only to hear it again (also because she's always wanted to rub her hands through his chest hair, sue her).

He looks sinfully delicious right now before he bucks his hips into hers a little violently and she rests her head back against the door literally _panting_. He's very quick with the way he latches teeth and tongue onto her neck and _god_ she's seriously going to cum in her pants like a freaking teenager dry-humping against his door.

And then he whines "Emma" and it's like someone pours a glass of cold water over her because _what the hell is she doing?_

"Killian." She tries to sound firm but it just comes out as a moan and she gets caught up in the moment again. She contemplates trying again but he takes that moment to look in her eyes and she finally gets a good look at him for the first time in a _month_.

His eyes are dark, sinfully dark. His hair is a complete mess and he looks _thoroughly fucked_. If he looks like that now, she can only imagine what he'll look like once she's actually throughly fucked him. Once she admits that in her head, she decides to hell with the consequences, they can talk later. She's wanted to do this for so long and _damn it_ , she's going to enjoy this.

He looks at her expectantly, obviously waiting for her to say something. But instead, she molds her lips back onto his swollen, red ones and he seems content with her reply because he melts back into her embrace and starts walking them towards his bed.

Their clothes are discarded (she's pretty sure he actually rips her shirt off but she can't really think straight so she has no idea if that actually happened) in record time, she's sure. And soon, they're molding together, _fitting_ together, and it's frantic and desperate and so _damn_ hot and she knew he had a sharp tongue but _god damn_ has she been missing out.

Later, when they're laying together in his bed all sweaty and absolutely drained, she wonders who's going to speak first. She can't believe they'd just done that. Multiple times. And by multiple times she means she's never cum that many times in the span of two hours before.

They're both naked. And cuddling. They've never cuddled naked before and she's surprised at how natural it feels. In fact, everything had felt so _right_ and if she wasn't sure before, she's sure as _hell_ sure now.

He mumbles out "Emma" at the same time she blurts out "Killian" and they laugh at how hopelessly pathetic they are.

"Ladies first, love." Her heart subconsciously flutters at the pet name, as always, and she's suddenly keenly aware of his arm stroking circles into her waist.

She sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Well, love, if that's how you make it up to me I think we should fight more often."

She slaps him in the chest at that and he laughs. She's missed his laugh.

"I'm serious, Killian."

"So am I."

She slaps him again and he grabs her hand before she can lift it from his chest and kisses her knuckles. She gulps at the display of affection and looks up into his eyes. His blue eyes, so full of love and understanding he might _burst_. Looking at him like this, she wonders how she's missed it, the obvious adoration he has for her.

"Do you know, Emma, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen?"

She gulps. "Shut up."

And then he's rolling her over, lying over the top of her. Her breasts rub against his chest and she knows it affects him as much as it affects her when his adam's apple bobs and she has a sudden urge to sink her teeth into it. She doesn't. At least, not _yet_ anyway.

"I'm serious Emma. You're a bloody marvel, you are."

She blushes under his intense gaze. He'd said similar phrases during their intense rounds of passion and honestly, she's not the least bit surprised at how vocal he is during sex. She'd be surprised if he was anything but. It doesn't help that his accent makes absolutely anything sound _filthy_ and she's never going to be able to hear him say her name again without thinking of them like _this_.

"Killian... I'm trying to tell you why I've been such an asshole."

He cracks a smile at that and she thinks she's never seen anything more beautiful.

"Well, my love, I'm all ears."

_My love_. She _melts_.

"I... kinda realised that I wanted more than our friendship and I thought ignoring you was the only way to get over you."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you decided to get under me instead?"

She whines and rolls her head to the side, pointedly not looking at him. "Killian."

He chuckles again. "Emma, look at me." She doesn't. "Bloody stubborn woman." She smirks and he places a hand under her chin, making her look at him. "I think our previous activities have made it very clear how I feel. But, if they haven't, let me clear something up for you. I, Killian Jones, have been _helplessly_ and _completely_ in love with you, Emma Swan, since the moment I laid eyes on you."

She let's a tear fall and he kisses it away. "I'm in love with you too, Killian."

"Yeah?"

" _Yeah_."

They're both smiling like complete idiots but she just doesn't _care_ right now because everything is _perfect_ and she can't believe she's been avoiding this for so long.

"Emma?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Killian, considering what we just did, I hardly think you need permission to kis-"

He cuts her off with a searing kiss and then they're melting into each other again and she thinks _yeah, she could get used to this._

"Hey, just saying, I thought there would be some love making on your kitchen bench but so far I'm a little disappointe-"

He cuts her off (again, the _asshole_ ) with a kiss with more passion than should be legal before he's lifting her up off the bed. The smirk he gives her is downright _filthy_ and she thinks, _so much for keeping this PG._

_"_ Well, my love, allow me to make it up to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I am definitely not done with this yet!!! Although I'm not entirely sure what I want to do next :P


End file.
